The negative media coverage surrounding the economy, company layoffs, and dwindling 401(K) balances can make anyone start to feel down, but it’s important to remain positive. Keep a hold of your emotions to help you have more positive experiences.  

Emotional intelligence is often defined as the ability to monitor your feelings and emotions as well as the feelings and emotions of others and then to use this information to guide how you think and act. Research indicates that good emotional understanding can lead to increased social effectiveness. Characteristics of emotionally intelligent people include being better at perceiving, understanding, and managing emotions; being more open and agreeable; and having more positive social experiences. Are you interested in improving yours? Here are some tips for developing emotional intelligence:

1. Label your feelings rather than people or situations. Say, for example, “I feel hurt when you…” rather than “You are thoughtless and rude!”
2.  Take responsibility for how you feel. Analyze your own feelings and determine their source rather than your perceived motives of others.
3.  Validate other people’s feelings. Demonstrate empathy, understanding, and acceptance of how others feel even if it is different from yours.
4.  Avoid people who discredit you. This is not always possible, but it is possible to minimize your time with them.
5.  Get energized, not angry. Getting angry takes energy. Use what you may currently call anger to get energized or motivated.

Our belief systems cause us to feel the way we do, and even though many of us do not acknowledge it, how we respond to people and situations is a choice. When we are given the choice of feeling positive, neutral, or negative, nearly all of us would choose to feel positive. The good news is we can choose or change the beliefs that aren’t helping us feel the way we want to feel. So if you find yourself feeling negative, think about what beliefs are triggering these feelings. For example, if you believe that you always have to be right and you make a mistake, you will feel negative. The subconscious belief, “I always have to be right” is not empowering or rational. A more realistic belief is, “I will strive to be accurate, but when I make a mistake it’s not the end of the world.”

It is empowering to consciously choose how you want to feel. Analyze your beliefs periodically and make sure they are working for you, not against you.

Dave Kersey is the Training Manager for Arizona Central Credit Union, where he has worked since 2005. He’s from Indiana and moved to Arizona in 2000.